❤ only let mind speaks

❤ i admit im that woman who's been loving u
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Let The Heart Speaks

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Thursday, November 12, 2009

When love just needs two hands to clap

I'm still awake right now and oh yes,I still am.
I just finishd studying for my maths test tmr,and finishd up all my assignments.
Today has just been like any other days.
Except that something happend when I went to hang out with Hidayah.
We were bored nowhere to go so hangd out at amk area until 9+.
When we were having a good conversation,there was this couple from a distance block shouting at each other.
And to be precise not only shouting,kickings as well.
At first,I thought its some issue between father and daughter.
But,oh well I was wrong.
People around called the police and questioned him.
The girl managed to get away frm that guy or more accurate,a jerk.
How could a guy have the heart to shout or even kick a girl in public?
Well thats an issue.Sick guy.
Well,after being questioned that guy walked ard to search for that girl.
Until when he suddenly approachd us and asked whether we have a sight of a girl carrying a red bag.
I swear my face turned pale and I turned to Hidayah and made her respond.
She lied saying that we dint see the girl.
And I could only nod because I could see from his face expression,he knew we were nt telling the truth.
Then he walked off and kept looking at us.
Hidayah was like,"Mas kau ok tk?muka kau cuak."
Haha.I was just worried he would do something.

P.S. to Hidayah:Ok as promised I told u this entry gona be specially for u,babe.
Haha!more like abt us.
But thank you sis for always being there for me.
Listens to my everything.
You're the best behbey.(:
You are stronger than what you think you are.
So be happy always.
Because you deserve all the happiness in this world.

We drifted apart
I kept missing you every now and then
But I'm afraid to tell you,love.
Tell me what am I suppose to do
because im like a bird that wishes to fly but no wings
i love u.

2:11 AM

Monday, November 09, 2009

The thought of you is still in my mind,and I admit I wasnt myself,indeed I faked all along
I admit I'm that woman who has been loving you all along

My previous Sat & Sun was packed,spent with TMA.
It can be seen through those pictures below.(:

I kept finding the moon at all the places in the night sky
And all I get was a disappointment in my heart
God knows.
A part of me is like a living dead.
I dont want to see u in pain.
I miss your smile,love
No matter what,I love you
Only God understood why

P.S. to Hidayah:Thank you for that special entry of yours.
You've been a great friend and a sister too.
I promise my next entry will be specially for you.

7:02 PM

Thursday, November 05, 2009

To the world you are one person,but to me you are the world

The moon has always been the most beautiful creation of God.
My day can never be complete without it.
And your smile,your laughter has always been like the moon.
Thats why,everytime when I saw the moon,I will smile
And all I could think is you.
Thats how perfect you are to me,love.

Bulan dan bintang menjadi saksi

The conversation used to be:
"U jadi bulan i boleh?Senyum u cute sangt mcm bulan..."
"Boleh,ape plak tk boleh..."
"Abeh u bulan,i jdi matahari u ok tk?"
"Kenapa matahari?u jdi bintang i la..."

I'm still faking my smile and laughter.
I admit I miss you.

9:34 PM

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

Love is never wanting to lose faith, never wanting to give up, and never truly moving on.
Love is knowing and praying in the deepest part of what's left of your heart that they feel the same.

If people asked me why do I kept loving you,there are tons of fishes in the water.
I simply replied just because its the water,would you drink from the sea?
I'm not that perfect girl.
I admit I'm still learning and I kept making mistakes along the way.
The most painful thing is to let go of those mistakes.
If I were a porcupine,its like scraping my thorns away.
And this very small sacrifice,it's nothing compared to how much I love you.
I never cared when people called me foolish or giving any names that they could think of,just because I loved you.
To me,you're perfect in any way.
And every smile of yours matters to me...
Because its the only thing that make me feel better too,love.

The conversation used to be like this:
"Im so sorry..
i dont know how many times i have to apologise..but i dont know how to make u feel better.."
"The only way to make me feel better is to c u smile...becus when u smile,i melt..."

Reminiscing every step I walked with you
When the time comes,you'll understand why

8:58 PM

Tuesday, November 03, 2009

The person you love most is the person who hurt you the most
The person who hurt you the most is the person who can make you happy.

Today is the second day.
Second day,I'm being restless.Not well.
Yet I tried not to show.
Sorry if I kept quiet almost all the time,when I actually really tried to pay attention.
Sorry if I tried to laugh but instead I just give a smile.
Sorry girlfriends in class.
My day started when I woke up at 7.30 when actually class starts at 8.
I got ready quickly and rushed to school.
Reached at 8.30,had to play dog and bone and other games for project activity.
Again,I'm super lost.
I was yawning all the way with my eyebags and that pale face.
And all I wanted to sit and lay my head on the table.
Was freaking weak,but I had to carry on with the activity.
Next was lecture.
My head was aching and nothing that the lecturer said goes into my head.
Break time went to eat at void deck near our sch with gfs.
Then Bao yu's bf fetched her to go lunch,Hidayah and me went to proceed to walk ard.
I was really tired and all I wanted was to sit somewhere and release my mind.
Came back to school after 2 hr break for WDD lesson.
I was coughing and having flu and was freezing in the lab.
I could feel the heat from my head but the rest of my body parts freezing.
My head was heavy.
Several times,I tried to lay my head down but when lecturer approached or explaind abt the lesson,dragged my head up to listen.
I cannot bring myself to take bus home.
So took a cab home.

My body is here,my heart is somewhere else.
The agony.The pain.The past.
No one will understand.

I have to admit every now and then,I think about you.

P.S. I cried in the bus thinking about everything

6:26 PM

Monday, November 02, 2009

I'm back on track but I'm not in a stable condition to update a proper entry.
I'm sorry for making you this way.
I cant count how many times I cried today.
Mainly not because of you but everything thats happening in my life.
The biggest mistake I've done is hurting you.
Loving you all this time has become a part of me.
I feared so much to see you walk away.
I know you're in so much confusion but please revive from it soon because I need assurance.
And throughout all this four years,I love you still.
You may still not understood why.
Because we can never explain love,it comes naturally.
I'm still not myself,and I could feel nothing right now except being numb.
I'm afraid I forget how to smile and laugh again.
But I wishes so much to see your smile.
Your smile has been like the moon to me.
And everytime and yet again when I saw the moon,all I could think is you.
I let God decide.
Because God knows better what my life deserves.

I'm sorry dear because I've been loving you
Please just put all the blame on me
To be honest,I miss you very much